There are just so many things to cover, from choosing the right reception site and finding reliable vendors to sticking to a budget, not to mention taking care of creative details like the food, flowers, décor and so on. It takes a lot of work to get it all done, and you're probably getting nervous just reading this.
Relax! We guarantee this comprehensive guide to your most important wedding planning moves will help make your celebration—and your first stint as a party-throwing diva—a resounding success.
1. Discuss your "vision." Sit down with your fiancé and talk about your idea of a"dream" wedding. Cover as many details as you can: Will it be big or small? Formal or casual? At home or away? Will the reception have a theme—say, all winter white, with glittering crystal everywhere?
Don't leave anything out, no matter how extravagant (you've always envisioned arriving at the church in a horse-drawn carriage). Doing this will identify what's important to both of you and also help you decide what's feasible.
2. Find your style. Before you book a single appointment or make a wedding-related purchase, start browsing through magazines (not just bridal books, but home décor, travel and fashion magazines, too) to generate ideas about the general look of your affair.
3. Establish a budget. Unless you just won the mega-million-dollar jackpot, there's no getting around drawing up a budget when you're planning a wedding.
4. Dare to be different. Want to make your celebration stand out from all those cookie-cutter weddings you've been to? Think personalization—that's the term industry professionals use. It can mean incorporating ethnic traditions into your ceremony, having your bridesmaids choose their own dresses so they don't all look alike, inviting your beloved dog to the reception, asking your caterer to prepare a special family recipe for dinner or even having your cake decorated with your new married monogram. You're only limited by your imagination.
5. Get it in writing. Repeat after us: Contracts are a bride's best friend. Study the fine print on anything a vendor asks you to sign, and be sure that you understand what you've agreed to. For example, your band or DJ may be willing to stay past the established stop time—for an overtime fee. If so, the terms should be stipulated in the contract so that you don't end up with a several-hundred-dollar surprise at the end of the night.
6. Pay with plastic. Use a credit card rather than cash or a check when you put down deposits at the time you sign the contracts. Should anything go wrong, such as a vendor who reneges or goes out of business, your credit cardcompany won't hold you responsible for costs incurred. Bonus: If you have (or apply for) a credit card with frequent-flier mile rewards, you can use those points toward purchasing your honeymoon flights.
7. Organize like a master. Keep meticulous records of all your wedding details on a Palm Pilot or computer, in a Filofax or giant folder, or even in a paper bag from the grocery store. There's simply too much going on right now to keep it all in your head, and this way you'll be able to access information easily when the need arises.
8. Choose your pros carefully. Buying a vendor's service is similar to purchasing a car. You want the most for your money, and you don't want to be stuck with a lemon. So, ask recently married friends and family for recommendations and meet the prospective pros in person (you'll be spending a lot of time together, so you want to click).
9. Consider getting help. As any recent bride will tell you, throwing a wedding, while exciting, is no walk in the park. That's why it may be smart to bring in an expert. A wedding coordinator will do everything from finding you an excellent photographer based on your needs and budget to confirming the bouquet delivery time and arranging your train on the day of the wedding.
Want to wow your guests with a themed event? Your pro can tell you what's in—and out. She can even save you money, Successful planners get discounts from preferred vendors by giving them a lot of repeat business—breaks that, in turn, get passed on to you. So, you could end up earning back all or most of the planner's fee, not to mention saving time and sparing yourself the hassles of orchestrating a big event.
10. Go surfing. The Internet has just about revolutionized wedding planning. You can listen to a band's music, peruse a photographer's or florist's work, take virtual tours of reception sites and compare costs. Practically the only thing you can't do online is taste cakes. Just don't book someone based on the beauty of the site alone. While a professional-looking site is a good sign, it's no guarantee the service will match. Again, visit pros in person and always check references.
11. Plan your destination wedding wisely. Whether you choose to wed in your favorite vacation spot or on the other side of the world, it's crucial to pick the site carefully. First, work with a hotel or resort that really wants your business. A property that offers package deals (with discounts) and employs an on-site wedding coordinator is a good bet.
12. Beware of hidden charges. When you're comparing prices among caterers, for instance, don't just look at per-person rates. Your final bill will likely include all sorts of additional charges, from coat-room attendant costs to cake-cutting and corkage fees, that will push that number up significantly. To avoid surprises, ask to see a sample final bill from a recent event so you can get a more accurate estimate.
13. Negotiate. Wondering if you can get a better rate from a vendor? For heaven's sake, ask. The worst that can happen is the person says no. Remember that wedding professionals don't want to turn you away and then have to meet with 10 other brides-to-be in order to line up a job. They want to seal the deal. So they may very well be willing to work with you for a little less than the quoted rate.
14. Hook up with other brides.
15. Face the music.
16. Pay attention to timing.
17.Be a grateful bride. Sure, you'll give gifts to your bridesmaids and send thank-you cards to your guests, but how will you show appreciation during the wedding? Think how many weddings you've attended where the bride and groom seem to consider it a privilege that they've invited you, when in reality it's a privilege for them that you've come to help kick off their life together.
18. Be a beauty maven. Don't wait until the week of your wedding to think about your big-day hairstyle.
19. Think about your guests' comfort.
20. Get the word out early. As soon as you set your wedding date, send out "save the date" cards, in which you provide information about themes, dress codes, area hotels, activities and so on. This is especially true if you're having a destination wedding, or if you will have a lot of guests coming to your town from afar, since people will have to arrange time off from work and book flights.
21. Get Oscar-worthy film coverage. Remember, photographs and/or videotape will be the only tangible, lasting mementos of your wedding, so resist the temptation to skimp on these services in order to save money.
22. Make a great first impression. Your invitations are not just a means of giving guests date and time information; they are the guests' first glimpse of your wedding's tone and style. So, get creative! Having a formal affair? Select a thick-stock paper with elegant black engraving.
23. Know the #1 rule for keeping costs down. Since nearly every major wedding expense is based on how many guests you have, cutting the guest list is a way to save money without sacrificing quality. (What'll it be, rubber chicken for 200 people, or filet mignon for 100?) Yes, trimming is hard, and your family may balk, but remember that you don't have to invite everyone you know, such as all your work colleagues or all your parents' country club buddies.
24. Take care of yourself. Smart brides take time to pamper themselves throughout the planning process, getting regular massages, manicures and other feel-good treatments. But many let these things slide in the final hectic weeks when they're making last-minute arrangements, getting confirmations and troubleshooting.
Even if you can't take weekly pedicure breaks, try as best you can to keep up other healthful habits—like eating and sleeping well, and getting regular exercise—so you don't feel run-down on your wedding day. If at all possible, take a few days off work right before the wedding. Read, nap, watch TV, play with your pet and go to places that make you feel serene, like a park or museum.
25. Be present at your own party. You and your groom set the tone for your own wedding. If you're fully "engaged" in the festivities—socializing with guests, enjoying the meal, rocking out on the dance floor—your guests will follow suit, and everyone will have a fabulous time. But if you're constantly outside getting your photograph taken, or huddled in the corner consulting with the caterer or DJ, the celebration may lose its momentum.
Trust the professionals you've hired to do their jobs, and appoint either a reliable friend or relative, or a wedding coordinator, to be the point person for that day, just in case something goes awry. This way, you can set your sights on fully enjoying each and every delicious moment.
